Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
