So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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