Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
