I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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