He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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