You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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