wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
