If i come over, it means nothing
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
