You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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