ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
