I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
