what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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