Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
