I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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