Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
