Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
