apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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