I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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