If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
