I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
