Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize