Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We're too hungover to prance.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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