Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize