I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
