U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize