I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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