After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize