Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
home. puking in laundry basket.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
