can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
