How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
