Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
being pregnant is like rehab
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
