i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
