I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
