I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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