the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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