I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
