Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
