Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
nutella sex= disaster
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Randomize
