He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
