Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
