And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
