I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
