i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
