How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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