it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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