apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
