I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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