Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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