I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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