LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
