My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
