I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
