So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
